Thursday, April 2, 2009

What's a girl to do?

So I'm starting to come to the point in this whole pre-med journey when MCAT's have to be taken, essays written and applications filled with the hopes that all of this hard work I've done will reward me with a interview and than acceptance to any school. Let's face it, I'm 31 now I don't have time for as many extracurriculars as the other applicants (primarily of course because Ip, Blip, Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee are my extracurricular activities) or the GPA (not that it's that bad either folks) for that matter so I will go anywhere. Which leads me to the point of this blog....

My significant other asked me today where I wanted to attend med school. I gave him the answer that I was pretty much willing to go anywhere that wouldn't put my family in harms way. So then I got what I wasn't expecting.... he's not willing to go to the Midwest, the Northeast, the Northwest or the Deep South. So I'm in shock... is it alot to expect that if my other half loves and respects me that he should be willing to go with me anywhere? Is it to much to consider that he might have told me this when I started my journey into pre-med and not at the end of my junior year? So now the big question remains.... follow my dreams and possibly lose this relationship of 8 years or change carreer plans and possibly hate him forever because of it? What to do,,, decisions, decisions, desicions.......

4 comments:

Shay said...

As a married woman myself. I would give him more time to think about it and wait until the time comes. Meanwhile, still apply to all the medical schools you want. Push comes to shove he will follow you because the career plan that you have outlined for yourself is for the betterment of your entire family (financially). When your bringing home $200,000 a year, im sure he wont be complaining about how he had to move to the carribian or alabama for 4 to 6 years. Stay positive and encouraged. They will come around.

30&Pre-Med said...

Thank you Shay! I really needed that today... I really do hope he does.

Luna said...

My husband asked me that same question and my response was pretty much the same thing you said "anywhere that is willing to accept me". He had the same reaction as your husband, so I decided to give him time. SO as time went by I decided to go ahead and start applying anyways, he saw my struggle and realized how important and not to mention beneficial this career is for our family and that we will be sacrificing 4-6 years toward a more stable future. We sat down one day and discussed it again and he told me that he was willing to go wherever I got accepted and we would do our best to work it out. So I would agree with Shay, give them time and if he knows how important this is to you and your family he will come around. :)

Parameddan said...

My perspective is much different, inverse in some many ways. I am a 27 year old male with a spouse of 8 years, no kids though. I plan to apply everywhere and will go anywhere, I know you understand. I read your post and was disappointed. My wife and I grew up in the deep south, moved to the midwest for my wife's graduate school and then the northeast to finish my undergrad and for a lucrative postdoc for my wife. The biggest lesson that is an American city is an American city. If you can live in the south, east, west or north then you can live in the south, east, west of north.

It doesn't matter. I would argue that moving far from somewhere that you and your spouse are comfortable is exciting, challenging and certainly refreshing to a relationship. If your spouse is dead set on not moving, then there are more serious questions that should be answered. Who isn't excited about a fresh start?

My limited advice would be to resolve the issues regarding your children first then apply everywhere and anywhere just to see if you can get in. If you do get in to a school in an area of the country where your husband is against moving then resolve the issues with you husband then. Because, you still don't know if where you can even get in so worrying about it now is a bit premature.

Good luck, and for christ sake apply broadly if you really want it. YOU have one life to live. If your life isn't complete without achieving the goals that you want then go after those goals, at all cost.

Like you said, do you want to resent anyone, no to mention the closest person to you, for the rest of your life?